'STAN THE MAN' / STANLEY HERBERT TORNING [Family]

STANLEY HERBERT TORNING

My beautiful Dad not long before he passed

Our Family Home in Yagoona

My Dad was a man of many talents. A Tool Maker by trade, he could pretty much turn his hand to anything, like most men of his era. He helped his Father-in-law 

(a Carpenter/Cabinet Maker) to build our family home, electrics and plumbing included. 

Dad playing games in the yard
with the grandkids

He could build just about anything and knew mechanics and machinery. He was an amateur jewellery maker, gem cutter and lapidary enthusiast. He dabbled in photography, was a ham actor, had a beautiful tenor voice, played a mean harmonica and had a great sense of humour. Kids adored him and he loved them. Whenever there was a gathering of any kind, all the grandchildren would just gravitate to him as well as any other kid around. Something just drew them to him and he loved them. He even had a magic hanky for pulling lose teeth!!

He loved fish, didn't particularly like meat unless it was cooked almost to charcoal, never drank alcohol (hated the taste of it) But always needed his cup of tea after dinner....and lunch....and breakfast....and morning tea (he loved his cup of tea)and a slice of bread and butter with every meal. I never heard him swear although he would occasionally cuss under his breath if he hit his thumb with a hammer or that huge trout got away (He was an avid fisherman). 

Growing up I remember he was always firm but loving but if you disobeyed, watch out. He would take his belt off and lay it on the dinner table when we were kids and that would be enough to silence us, although I have no recollection of him ever laying a hand on any of us. He never raised his voice to us, he didn't need to, we respected him and loved him and knew better than to argue.

Dad, after the men at work drenched
him with water as payback for all
the tricks he had played on them.

He loved a good joke. In fact he was a bit of a larrikin and could be the life of the party. Some of the speeches he has given over the years at family gatherings have been hilarious and he was known for his pranks in the tool room.

But Dad was a gentle man in the true sense of the word. His respect and concern for others was always evident in how he treated people and was always ready to lend a hand to anyone.  If Mrs so and so down the road needed the lawn mowed or a cupboard door fixed or a drain unclogged, he'd be there. 

He was known as 'Stan the Man' up and down the street and amongst all the people that Mum knew (and that was a lot!!!)

And whilst Mum was always in the forefront of everything that was going on, Dad never sought fame or the limelight and was always happy to be in Mum's shadow and let her shine. He loved my mother deeply and even in his old age, still looked at her with such love and admiration in his eyes.

Mum and Dad at around 17 years of age

He was always the voice of calm and reason in the midst of havoc and the polar opposite in that respect to Mum who was always going off about something.

He was the kind of man that would give you the shirt off his back or the last dollar in his bank account if you needed it. He was always there when I needed him (which was often with 5 kids) and whenever anything went wrong even the kids would say 'Ring Grandpa!'

In many ways, although Dad was not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, he was my hero and the kind of man you knew you could depend on no matter what, and who would fight to defend and protect and provide for those he loved with his last breath.

He was respected by a lot of people, not the least, the men he worked with in the tool shops over his life time. He was always being asked to take on the supervisors role and consistently refused (even though the money would have been very handy) because he didn't want to work longer hours and be away from his family. The men admired him and the young apprentices that he mentored, looked up to him and sought him out for advice, not just about tool making but about life as well.

When Mum and Dad had a Caravan at Windang, we would visit there often and I loved sitting in Dad's old boat, just the two of us, as we'd dangle our rods over the side and enjoy the gentle rocking of the boat on the water. 
We didn't talk much, didn't need to! 
We just enjoyed each other's company, enjoyed the silence.
But sometimes we would chat about things. He told me once that he had always wanted to be on the stage, singing and dancing. I revealed to him that I had also had that desire. We both just sighed at lost dreams and proceeded to quietly sing a couple of songs together.

Sonny and Cher aka Mum and Dad at their 50th Wedding Anniversary concert

Wonderful memories of a wonderful, loving, sensitive, creative man who taught me so much about compassion, respect, consideration and kindness.

In every way he modelled his faith in Jesus and lived a gentle, humble life.

Dad, my sister Karen and I in our front yard at Yagoona

To this day I still miss him more than I can say. 
His quiet strength and dependability in the midst of chaos.
I can still hear his strong, steady voice saying
"It's OK Merrie, we'll work it out".

Love you Dad! Can't wait to see you again!